So I know that being teased is part of life.
We've been conditioned to put others down in order to build ourselves up. We tease to create a separation from others and create an individual of ourselves.
But my being teased is really starting to weigh on me.
I mean, I was tortured and ridiculed by many in high school for one thing another; being biracial, being a liberal, being a feminist, being a good girl, whatever. It was terrible, but I got through it. But ever since I took the relaxer out of my hair and let it be round and curly, I've entered a kind of surreal hell. It's nicely countered by a decent amount of compliments and recognition, but still the taunting continues.
I get yelled at from people driving by, by girls walking behind me at Target ("what the fuck is with her head? that shit is nasty. laughter, laughter"; this was said loudly), by freshmen slacking off in a group project (he meant to send a text about me to his friend but accidentally sent it to me; "her hair looks like my armpit...doesn't she own a brush?) and most recently, by some 13-14 year old kid at Dunkin Donuts last night (I was standing at the counter waiting for my food, when he approached me and without hesitation asked and snickered "bad hair day?"). Gladly, my bearded boyfriend was with me and made sure to put him in his place.
And this is only a small fraction of incidents.
What is it about unrelaxed hair that drives people crazy? Is it because I refuse to colonize myself, to make their life easier by covering mine up? Because as far as I'm concerned, my curly hair does not infringe on their lives, their rights, or their anything. I feel bad for these people who clearly have never met anyone who isn't like them in every way. And its fine if people don't like my style choices. That's understandable. But the fact that they feel compelled to belittle someone (to their face) who they have never even met or talked to is beyond my comprehension. Yeah, I think your combover isn't fooling anyone, but I would never tap you on the shoulder and say that to you. Because its rude, its none of my business,and I don't know what your insides say.
I've gotten so angry over it that I have been considering carrying a weapon. Me. A peacenik who hates confrontation. I dream of pivoting around and staring the bastards down, then brandishing a knife and screaming. It'd be nice to watch them wet themselves as they run away in fear. Man, that's intensely hostile. And that's not me. But these perpetual, almost daily insults are pushing me to a new low.
When did asshole become the new black? When will people leave middle school taunts in middle school playgrounds? When will these idiots learn to spot enlightenment when they see it?
